Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
