I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
