im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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