OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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