Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
