I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I FOUND THE LEGS
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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