ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I think a kid would responsible me up
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
