see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
