Buhtt sex?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
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