I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
