butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
