Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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