All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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