Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
please come you make the beer taste better
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
