is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
