She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
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