It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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