U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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