I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
