11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
