You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
