omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
