At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize