She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Randomize
