Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
