i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
