I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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