i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
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