Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
