So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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