No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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