did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
