Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
