Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
