We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
