I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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