I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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