I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
