Is it because I queefed?
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
