I cockslap morals
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Randomize
