I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
