Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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