Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
