So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
