he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
