Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
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