Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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