she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
