My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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