i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
