i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
