Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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