So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
