that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
