so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
