He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
