I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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