fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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