I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize